This was my third FromSoft game, after Dark Souls 3 and Elden Ring ! I have to say this one is kind of um. An aquired taste let's say. I know this is controversial and a lot of people really like it, but for me it's really the weakest of the three DS, sorry...

Even if by the end I was impatient to finish it, and I've said the sentence "OH MY GOD I WILL NEVER CRITICIZE DS3 EVER AGAIN" too many times to count, there was still a lot of things I really enjoyed in the game ! But you can see that in this page lol

HI SOLAIRE. HIIII. HI BESTIE. DO YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE ADORABLE. PLEASE DON'T LOOK FOR THE SUN LIKE, 10KM BELOW GROUND. YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND ANYTHING THERE GIRL.

FUCK YOU LORDRAN ! If you're dumb enough to look for a lord soul this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to BLIGHTTOWN!
Bad lighting !
Platforming sequences that make no sense !
Little fuckers throwing knives at you !
If you think you're going to have a good time at Blighttown, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!
It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker, you'll come to this bullshit place ! GUARANTEED !

can you tell i didn't like Blighttown. how original of me.

Like EVERY OTHER SOULS GAME I PLAYED, my character here was a magic user ! Her name is unfortunately lost to time (aka : I didn't care enough during character creation to give her a name lol sorry), but know that she fought very valiantly while also hating every second of it. My girl did NOT want to be here. Highlights of her journey include, to her, going to Anor Londo and meeting a royal family member (when said family member started slinging spells at her while making her run through an endless corridor, just because she wanted to see him, it made her VERY distressed), reading extremely interesting texts in the royal library, and hanging out with Solaire.

At the end of her journey, tired and weak and wanting only for this journey to end, she re-lit the fire. This was, as everything in this game and the next games prove, an objectively bad move, but at this point she had only enough energy to follow what Frampt had spent telling her. Sorry girl ! The big snake was full of shit !!

LOVED THE DARKROOT GARDEN THOUGH. LOOK AT THESE TREES. THAT ATMOSPHERE. THIS BIG ASS FUCKING CAT !!!!!! THAT BIG ASS FUCKING DOG !!!!!!

by the way. speaking of Sif. i didn't even notice the sad dog moment at the end of his health bar i was just spamming spells. my friends did notice though and made fun of me. I DIDNT MEAN TO KILL YOU SO RUTHLESSLY BUDDY SORRY..........

The worst part of the game BY FAR. LIKE BY A FUCKING MILE. Was fighting the fucking hydra in darkroot basin. Dying like 10 times. FINALLY killing the son of a bitch. Getting to Dusk. Talking with her for like, 3 secondes. And then. One of the random ennemies around the lake spots me. And snipes the girl from the other side of the map.

I won't lie. I think I screamed.

physically and mentally unable to think of Ornstein and Artorias without thinking of "Artorias, 'ndo ca... 'NDO CAZZO VAI A L'ABISSO, MA SEI SCEMO ???" "NO. SONO ARTORIAS." "MA ME SA CHE SEI SCHEMO"

this is the voice i hear in my head when i think of Ornstein. possibly the funniest Dark Souls video on the internet.

HEY, WHAT'S THIS STUPID GAME ABOUT ?

I'm glad you asked !!!!!!

Long ago, everything was kind of soupy and dark and gray, and the only living being were big ass dragons. Then Fire appeared, and with it, life that wasn't of the draconic kind. Among these beings, three random assholes ended up finding Souls of Lords within the embers of the original Fire, which gave them phenomenal power.

These three assholes were Gravelord Nito , the Witch of Izalith , and GWYN, LORD OF SUNLIGHT
(huh why's this guy bigger than the others. it's like he's super important or something. weird).
also i feel like I'm forgetting someone ?? like someone who didn't pick up a Lord Soul per se, but still imbued their people with a power, only it was opposite to Fire. Like, I don't know. A Dark Soul. For the people who weren't empowered by fire and were still weak and mortal, like humanity. And who, with this power, could have a hope of standing up against these Gods who treated them like shit, once the fire's power fades.
idk must be my imagination. anyway.

These guys all create their own city and civilization all in their corner, and life is sweet (if you're in one of their kingdom. and aren't a dragon.) for a while. Until........... the Fire starts to fade.
"What the hell ? The fire can't fade. It's the source of all our powers ! If the fire fades away, the Age of Fire will be over, and then what ? The Age of Dark ? What could possibly survive and thrive in an age of dark ? Nothing good or important, that's what." - the various Lords in front of this conondrum.
And so, the Lords started trying to find ways to rekindle the Fire. These attempts went from "Ok, I guess it kind of worked" (Gwyn, who abandoned his large kingdom to ge rekindle the fire himself, by offering his body as fuel) to "OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD. WHAT HAVE WE DONE. OH GOD." (the Witch, who tried to create a new Fire, and turned her entire kingdom into Literal Hell). However, Gwyn's strategy was only temporary, and the fire started dwindling once again a few years later. And so, a system was put into place: every time the fire would start to fade, dead people the world over would arise again as Undead, and would brave various trials to prove themselves worthy of offering themselves to rekindle the Fire.

"Streamm, that sounds... Extremely unpleasant. These people are awoken, forced to fight their way to the fire, only to die at the end ? That's horrible !"

yes it is :) they don't even know they're going to burn eternally ! most undead think they are going to be heroes ! This Sucks So Much :) Welcome to Dark Souls :)

Anyway, after all of that your character wakes undead in a prison, finds the firelink shrine, talks to a big fucking snake, and kills some dudes in armor. And also some not dudes in not armor. And then they fight The Biggest Dude In Armor Of All (Gwyn. Spoiler alert the final boss is Gwyn.), and chooses to link the fire (or not). All in all : a pretty fun game ! (this is 100% genuine)



HOLD ON I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE PLOT ANYMORE. LOOK AT THESE DUDES.

YEAH I'M LIKE EVERY OTHER DUMBASS WHO LIKES THIS GAME. I LOVE THESE FOUR. WHAT OF IT. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY KIDS.

These four fancy furries were called THE KNIGHTS OF GWYN and they were basically the coolest guys around. You kick the shit out of two of them, and chill with the other two. I think Ciaran has like 5 lines of dialogue at best but shhhh let's not talk about that.

Artorias, the Abysswalker

Artorias is a big baby and i love him ok. this is a test aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaa